


Gravity

by CastielWinchester1967



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Demon!Dean, Depressing, Gravity by Sara Bareilles, Inspired by Music, It’s a really good song though..., M/M, NO DEATH, Not exactly canon but whatever, Songfic, This song makes me cry so...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 07:37:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14397354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastielWinchester1967/pseuds/CastielWinchester1967
Summary: Based off of the song “Gravity” by Sara Bareilles, which makes me cry every time I hear it, for many reasons.Dean is a demon on the verge of killing Castiel, who does everything he can to get through to the man he loves.





	Gravity

“Something always brings me back to you.”

Castiel arrived in the Bunker in a flutter of wings, answering Dean Winchester’s prayer as he usually does; with all the speed of a Category 5 Hurricane. “Dean?” The angel called into the bunker, his gravelly voice echoing off the walls.

“It never takes too long.”

Castiel had been in this same spot only a week ago, though in that instance Sam had called for him regarding Dean. At that moment, Dean made an appearance. He sauntered around the corner of the hall directly in front of Castiel, the First Blade twirling in his hand. “That was quick, even for you, Cas.”

“No matter what I say or do.”

“I was not busy. Dean, I ask you kindly to put down the Blade,” Castiel said calmly, as though he was talking to a child. “Ya see, Cas, I just can’t do that. I mean, why put something down if you’re gonna need it,” Dean replied, his eyes flashed to black as he said “need.”

“I’ll still feel you here ‘till the moment I’m gone.”

Castiel gasped in shock and took a step back, “Dean, you don’t have to do this. I know you. This isn’t you, Dean. You can fight it.” “What if I don’t wanna fight it, Cas? What if I’m tired of Sam’s whining and I’m tired of the burden you’ve become? You were a badass angel, but now? Now you’re not even stronger than I was before the mark!”

“You hold me without touch, you keep me without chains.”

Somewhere in Dean’s mind, where the tendrils of the Mark hadn’t quite spread, Dean was screaming, fighting, trying to haul his way to the surface as his body threw a lighter in front of Cas, the small blue flame lighting the once invisible circle of Holy Oil.

“I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love, and not feel your reign.”

The Dean that was still Dean knew that the part of him with the mark knew nothing of his love for the angel and he would make his death last. It was the part of him that was annoyed when Cas needed something. The part that hated him for all the times he couldn’t help them, but it left out the part that thought it was adorable when Cas asked how to shave. The part that understood when Cas couldn’t help. The part that loved him unconditionally; so much so that it scared him. The mark only took that bit of fear and the shreds of annoyance and crafted a hatred upon them, and it was tearing what was left of Dean apart.

 

“Set me free, leave me be.”

“Dean, you don’t have to do this,” Cas pleaded, “Please, I can help you. I can find a cure if you just give me the chance.” Dean scoffed, “You? Really? The guy who can’t find the time to answer Sam’s prayers? The guy who never seems to care about helping us yet calls himself family? Give me a break!”

“I don’t wanna fall another moment into your gravity.”

“All I’ve ever done is help you! All those times I couldn’t answer I was fighting a war in Heaven so that you wouldn’t be killed by what was left!” Cas shouted, still hoping that somewhere, the real Dean heard him and fought back. “Bullshit! All you are is a burden, Cas,” Dean replied, saying the name as though it were an insult instead of the nickname he’d given the angel that finally made him feel at home.

“Here I am, and I stand so tall, just the way I’m supposed to be.”

“It doesn’t matter, though, Cas, because it’ll be over eventually. Until then, this should be fun,” Dean said, his voice distorted in to something that was decidedly not Dean. He took a few more steps forward before he had to step over the Holy Fire and was in the circle with Cas. “You know I could kill you right now,” Cas said quietly. “Yeah, but I also know that you won’t,” Dean replied. Cas just shrugged. Dean pulled a small book out of his pocket, never dropping the First Blade, and read a few words in Enochian, which Cas had taught him. In a blinding flash of white, Castiel’s wings had been revealed. They were black with hints of silver, blue, and purple winding through the smooth feathers. Dean smirked as he stared at them, thinking of all the ways he could destroy the beautiful wings.

“But you’re onto me and all over me.”

Dean didn’t bother to restrain the angel, because he knew that he wouldn’t fight back. He did, however, place a pair of Enochian handcuffs over his wrists so that he couldn’t take the Blade. Dean traced the edge of the Blade with his finger before smashing the hilt into the side of Castiel’s Head, knocking him out cold. Dean picked him up, stamped out a portion of the Holy Fire so he could walk through, and made his way to the dungeon. He figured that it’d be more fun if Cas couldn’t move away from him and was forced to just sit there. He restrained the unconscious angel in the chair in the middle of the room, lit another Holy Oil circle, and sat down to wait.

“Oh, you loved me ‘cause I’m fragile, when I though that I was strong.”

Castiel woke up a few minutes later and looked around himself in confusion before remembering what was happening. “Alright, lets get this show on the road,” Dean said, walking towards Cas from where he was leaning against a table. He calmly walked over before not-so-calmly slamming the Blade through Castiel’s right arm, causing him to scream in pain. “Now that is what I’m talking about!” Dean said when Cas’s screams has devolved into painful gasping. He pulled the Blade out and sliced it down the length of Castiel’s face, starting at his hairline, going down through his eye and his mouth before stopped at his jaw, all the while listening to his best friend’s screams as though they were the mixtapes he listened to in his car.

“But you touch me for a little while, and all my fragile strength is gone.”

He continued like this for hours; slicing off fingers and toes, sometimes punching or kicking the angel, but not once did Cas try to fight back or fight out of the chair. He didn’t bother saying someone would come for him; Sam was 12 hours away on a case. He pleaded with Dean, though. He asked him to fight over and over again, each time met with snarky comments or laughter, though Dean was fighting, so the Mark sped up. Slicing faster as he went. He’d let Dean be there for the angel’s last moments. It’d be the worst kind of torture for them both.

“Set me free, leave me be.”

Dean shouted and fought as the Mark carved through Castiel’s wings. As the Mark blinding him in one of his beautiful eyes. As the Mark poured Holy Oil on one of his wings and lit it on fire. He cried as he heard Cas plead with him. Telling him to fight it. Telling him that he’d find a cure if it was the last thing that he did. Dean Winchester froze when Cas uttered out a broken, “I love you.” Hoping it would get through to the love of his life even as his wings were torn from his back along with his grace, leaving shredded stumps of bone and feather in their place. 

“I don’t wanna fall another moment into your gravity.”

Castiel hung his head when his desperate confession did nothing but cause Dean to laugh and say, “Really? That’s rich! What did you think would happen? That I’d drop the Blade and say, ‘I love you, too’? Ha! You’re not even as useful as a white crayon! What makes you think you could be worth loving?” Cas gave up then. He realized that there was no way he was leaving this room alive.

“Here I am, and I stand so tall, just the way I’m supposed to be. But you’re onto me, and all over me.”

Cas spoke quietly, “If you can hear me, I’m sorry, Dean. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be what you wanted. I’m sorry for the burden I’ve placed upon your shoulders. I’m sorry for all the times that I’ve failed you. I’m sorry that I fell in love with you.” Cas laughed quietly, “It’ll never happen again.”

“I live here on my knees as I try to make you see, that you’re everything I think I need here on the ground.”

The Mark laughed, Cas hung his head in defeat, and Dean, curled up in the recesses of his mind, cried. He cried for his soulmate. He cried for the words he’d never hear. And he cried for every time he should’ve said them. Every time that he had the chance, but didn’t take it. He hated himself for what he made his angel think of himself. He hated the Mark for doing this to the love of his life.

“But you’re neither friend nor foe though I can’t seem to let you go.”

In that moment, Dean realized that there was only one way to stop this and that was to fight harder. To force the Mark back and take control, so he fought with everything he had. Cas looked up at the once green eyes of his best friend and soulmate for the last time, “I’m sorry, Dean. I failed you. I should’ve stopped this. I’m sorry.” As the Mark moved to shove the First Blade through the stomach of Dean’s angel, he suddenly froze, the Blade tumbling to the floor and the Mark lost control. Black eyes flashed back to green as Dean Winchester pushed himself off the floor on shaky legs. The Mark had lost.

“The one thing that I still know is you’re keeping me down. You’re keeping me down.”

Dean stumbled over the line of Holy Fire and collapsed, catching himself on the edge of the table. There sat the Holy Oil, lighters, and, the thing Dean needed, Castiel’s Grace. He grabbed the small vial, stumbled back to the restrained angel, stamping out the fire on the way, and fell to his knees in front of the chair. “Cas? Cas, please tell me you’re still here,” he pleaded to the angel, whose head was still hanging, eyes closed as he resigned himself to his death. “If you want to kill me, please do so. I do not wish to play these games any longer,” Cas said quietly, his head never moving.

“You’re on to me, on to me, and all over.”

“Cas, thank God. It’s really me. I fought the Mark. It’s not in control anymore,” Dean said, relief filling his already broken voice. The angel look up, his now sightless eye a faded version of what it once was, “Dean?” “Yeah, yeah, it’s me, buddy. Here, I’ve got your Grace, okay? We’ll put it back and then I’ll let you out of this chair, okay?” Cas simply nodded. Dean undid the lid of the vial with shaky hands, the Grace inside finding its way back to its Angel. Dean dropped the vial as Castiel’s wings returned, though still damaged, and he undid the straps on the chair. “I won’t be able to heal any of the wounds made by the First Blade...” Cas said as Dean helped him up from the bloodstained chair. “That’s fine. I’ll help you patch them up, okay?” Cas nodded in response, “I will leave as soon as I can. I understand that you will probably not want me around after what I said.”

“Something always brings me back to you.”

“Cas, no. You’re not going anywhere,” Dean said softly but sternly. Cas tilted his head in his usual display of confusion and Dean answered the question before Cas had the chance to ask it, “Because, Cas,” Dean, still holding the angel up, turned to face him, “I love you, too.” Dean moved forward to close the distance between them, Castiel meeting him halfway. The kiss was short and innocent, Dean leaning their foreheads against eachother when they parted. “You’re never going anywhere, Cas. Not if I can help it. You mean way too much for that.”

“It never takes too long.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! I have a bit of Writer’s Block when it comes to my main stories, so here’s this sad little one-shot because Angst is all that I can seem to write. Note that I wanted to put the lyrics in italics, but I’m writing this on my phone, so I don’t know if there’s a way to do that. Anyway, love you guys!
> 
> -Cas


End file.
